Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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