i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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