i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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