Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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