some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
