smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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