this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
