Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
