i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
