hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
