he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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