why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
