I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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