I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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