I feel great
I just peed on a car
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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