Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
