At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
