i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
