Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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