man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
