Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
