There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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