I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize