Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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