you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
