I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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