wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
