Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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