so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
