I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize