thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
