i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
