I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
