So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
