No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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