porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
