She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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