i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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