in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
