I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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