Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
