he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
