Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
