Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
