i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The best revenge is premature balding
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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