I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
