census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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