I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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