everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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