and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize