...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
