god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
