can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
