Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
