I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
