Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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