Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
