what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
