turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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