im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
