Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
