apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
