4 words: hood of his car
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
