Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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