didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize