READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
