He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My vagina is very pro this idea
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