Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
