My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
