Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize