fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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