we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
