The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
