i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
