he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
