He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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