plz talk dirty to me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
