Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
