we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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