I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
